I’ve been struggling a little lately and I was trying to figure out how I got on this emotional eating rollercoaster. I think it started years before I had weight issues when I was in grade school. It started with self doubt. I didn’t feel worthy of anything. I was the kid who was always picked last for games...no athletic ability. I believe that’s when I started feeling left out and it set the pace for all my years in school. I was always the one looking in wanting to be accepted and living with the painful reality of just being on the fringe never able to cross over. Don’t get me wrong I had some good friends and a social life but I still didn’t feel worthy of their friendship. I was never funny enough, pretty enough or popular enough to be worthy of anything. I said so many bad things to myself it became my reality. This kind of thinking led me down a destructive path of bad choices and more misery. If it wasn’t for the grace of God I would be in a very dark place. It’s strange that these emotional scars have led me to the place where I’m at today. I can feel the same thoughts creeping in when I’ m tempted to eat something. “It doesn’t matter if I eat this piece of cake, I’m fat, so 400 extra calories won’t matter.” Or “I’m full but who will care if I go back to get seconds.” I have to remind myself that God cares! He loved me so much that He sent His son to die on the cross for me. He loves me! I have to keep telling myself that I’m a child of God. He choose me.
5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart; Jeremiah 1:5
That is how awesome our God is. It will take me a long time to reprogram my thinking to where I know that I’m worthy. I, Sheila Austin, am worthy! I deserve to be loved, to be cherished, and to be healthy. So I’m not going to eat that piece of cake or go back for seconds because God loves me.
Blessings,
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